So as I start my own business at 31, I have had to follow the necessary steps to building a business. Website, check. Photos, check. Logo, check. Check. Check.
One afternoon...
I met with Matt, a friend of a friend, who is a branding “expert," which sounds - let’s be honest - a little overzealous. But, hey! He was doing me a favor, so I was intrigued.
So Matt, trying to get a feel for me and my brand, started asking me very basic questions. He was wanting to help me pull things together to “package” my experiences into something marketable.
He starts by asking…
“Why life coaching?” Easy.
“What type of clients are you wanting to work with?” Piece of cake.
“What’s your message?” Got it down pat.
And then it happened. He asked me a real zinger...
“What’s your story?”
Well… Ok… here goes, I’ll give it my best shot.
I start and stop, trying to give as much of an account as I can as to what has happened in the last 10 years! I’m not going to lie, it felt choppy at best. I moved here. One career started. Then this happened. I moved there. I met this person. One relationship started. One career ended. What I realized, as I struggled to tell my own story, was that my life seemed fractured. Punctuated with milestones that seemed significant, but not yet amounting to one fairytale ending.
And then, he said the most unnerving 6 words I think I’ve ever heard…
”Maybe you haven’t found your story.”
Ouch. Thanks branding guy. I did in that moment what I would never recommend anyone do… I took it personally. And it got worse, instead of having some profound rebuttal I just said something along the lines of, “Good talk, let’s be in touch.”
I got home. Sat down at my computer. Poured a glass of wine (let’s be honest) and wrote "my story." I soon realized, that it was a futile effort-to write my narrative in a way that made sense to anybody else but me.
My experiences thus far, have not been a series of linear events following one storyline. In fact, my life has been a lot of different chapters. Different jobs. Different relationships. Different countries. The highest highs and some heartbreaking lows. And the funny thing is. I wouldn’t change a thing.
My takeaway…The story is not over.
None of our stories are over. Only, if you want them to be. Staying in a comfortable narrative can limit us. There have been times in my life where I was so attached to the narrative I was living and what it said about me, that I molded myself to fit.
Ask yourself....“Am I creating my story?” or “Am I trying to fit in somebody else’s?” When we let our story be defined by the expectations of others, or even the ones we put on ourselves…
We are compromising the authenticity of who we are, and what we are capable of creating.
As for me I am eager to start my next chapter, working with women who want to create their next experience, some may call it transition, I call it the beginning.
I am now able to share the wisdom I have gained in my personal quest to truly dig into what makes us tick, from studying comparative religion to traveling, reading and seeking experiences that have afforded me the opportunities to gain a higher level of awareness and understanding.